I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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