i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
