You're so nebulous sometimes
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
