My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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