Small penises have feelings too.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
