i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
