I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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