i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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