Non-Jews are for practice
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
