What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
