Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dignity is for republicans.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
