Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
