I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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