in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
