How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
