is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
