Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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