the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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