Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
