im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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