Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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