Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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