If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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