no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
