I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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