well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
