You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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