if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
