Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
