ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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