Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
