Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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