Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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