I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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