Cold hands, warm shart.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
