bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
