at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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