Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
