You really coming over, don't trick.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
