theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think pants incapable of making pants work
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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