You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i think i have two assholes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
