i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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