I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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