dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
