Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
