i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
