he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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