Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
