so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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