took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
