am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I skipped work to stalk him.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
