Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
